2 Psychological Tips on How to Flirt With Women
Everyone seems to have advice on the best way to flirt with the opposite sex. Just check out the magazine rack in the check-out aisle.
But the topic of flirting isn’t just for self-proclaimed love gurus. It’s even an interest for researchers who study relationships.
A recent psychology study, published in Scientific Reports, clues us into a couple of science-backed tips on how to flirt with women.
1. What You Should Compliment When Flirting
There are hundreds of different ways to pay someone a compliment.
But when it comes to complimenting a woman, the study found that men should focus on the woman’s appearance and not her possessions.
Men who commented on a woman’s eyes, hair, or skin were consistently rated as more attractive by women as opposed to men who focused on a woman’s objects like their house, car, or jewelry.
While the researchers didn’t speculate as to why, my guess would be that focusing on the lady herself is far more personal than on material objects.
2. How You Compliment a Woman Matters
The study’s second result came from how the men paid a compliment.
Researchers found that men who used more metaphorical language were rated as sexier by women. And the more novel the metaphor the better.
So saying “Your eyes are a gorgeous rainbow” is far more attractive in a woman’s eyes than something straightforward and literal like “Your lips are sexy.”
Why Does it Work?
The researchers write that:
…men who use metaphorical compliments, particularly novel ones, are perceived as more attractive by women than men who produce more prosaic literal compliments.
Seem a little too easy? Before you think it’s too simple, you should know that the words you use can signal some important traits:
We tend to form very rapid impressions about a person’s attractiveness in social contexts and thus for women, cues from language usage during initial encounters may provide a rapid first assessment of a potential mate’s intellectual and creative abilities.
In addition to being more attractive, the women also rated men who used metaphorical language as more intelligent. So showing a bit of creativity when paying compliments can work in your favor.
Flirting in the Real World
Unfortunately, the study only looked at flirting from one angle. It offered no insight for how ladies should compliment men they might be interested in.
But while studies like these are interesting, it’s also good to remember that social interactions are a complex and dynamic. Conditions in a lab don’t reflect real-life social environments, like a restaurant, coffee house, or even a bar.
Context is important. Face to face interactions contain variables like a person’s attire, body language, and facial expressions. Not to mention that delivery – or how you say something – is important as well.
Hey, nobody said dating was easy. It’s a roller-coaster of ups and downs where you try to navigate messy emotions, naked vulnerability, possible rejection, and plenty of missed communications. But then again, that’s life for you.