4 Scientific Reasons Single People Should Be Themselves on Valentine’s
There’s always going to be mixed feelings when Valentine’s Day rolls around.
Couples celebrate their relationship, love, and happiness with chocolates and elaborate gifts. For those of us who don’t have a significant other? Well, it’s a holiday that reminds you that you’re still single.
If you happen to find yourself unattached, the topic of love is going to be staring you in the face on February 14th. When you don’t have someone to share the day with, it can be all too common to start asking yourself a few questions.
Why haven’t you found someone yet? Will you ever? Are you destined to be alone? Are your standards too high? Are you not good enough?
You can stop the self doubt and tom-foolery right now, because psychology is revealing that there’s good news for the singles. In fact, you may fit into one of the four categories of people that have an edge when it comes to finding love.
Despite who you are – or your personality – there is someone out there for everyone.
1. The Non-Conformists
Are you the type of person that marches to the beat of your own drum? Well, don’t stop being different in the name of corporate love. Being a bit of a rebel has some sex appeal.
When students were asked to rate members of the opposite sex, scientists found that people who exhibited non-conformist personality traits were more sexually appealing. They found that these traits were even sexy in the countries of the UK and India.
This was also contrary to the belief that women believed that men would prefer more conformist traits. The researchers sum it up in their paper by saying this:
“Nonconformist targets were more desirable as romantic partners than conformist targets.”
2. The Nice Guy or Girl
We’ve all heard that nice guys finish last. In some cases that might be true, but largely we should bury that old adage.
A study of over 200 women showed that they’d choose an altruistic guy over a bad boy for a long term relationship.
Women were shown photographs of both attractive and plain looking men. Attached to the pictures were certain scenarios that described either altruistic or neutral behaviors.
What did they find about women’s preferences? The authors conclude in their paper:
“Men who were just altruistic were rated as more desirable than men who were just attractive.”
Other research reveals that being kind works equally well for both sexes. One of the most interesting studies from 2015, finds that both men and women who engage in altruistic behaviors – like volunteering – are more likely to find their soul mate.
3. The Pathological
Normally the word “pathological” carries some negative connotations. To be clear, we aren’t talking about psychopathic tendencies.
A study of 959 people – published in Evolution and Human Behavior – found that both men and women with certain pathological traits had a better chance at finding love than “normal” personalities.
Females who were a bit neurotic were 34 percent more likely to find love and have more children. Researchers also found that men – but not women – who were more obsessive compulsive were more likely to lock down a long term partner.
While not in the spirit of lasting love, they also found that both men and women with reckless or impulsive traits had more short term flings than their normal counterparts.
4. The Playful
When we get older, we’re expected to grow up. For those of you who maintain a playful attitude as an adult, though, may have the upper hand in dating.
Research from Penn State found that when females ranked traits for a long term partner that playfulness was among the top 4. “Sense of humor” and “fun loving” were second and third, respectively. And while not the same, one could argue they are a part of a playful personality.
Psychologists believe that a woman might interpret playfulness as a sign of non-aggression and a good caretaking ability. While for a man, playfulness might signal youth and fertility in a woman.
We all want to find love, but there’s no reason to doubt yourself if you haven’t found it yet. Sometimes the best way to find love is to just be yourself.
So if you’re single this coming Valentine’s Day, remember this. You don’t have to celebrate the type of love associated with a relationship. Instead, you can celebrate the love of being young, alive, and free.