Nice Guys (And Girls) Have More Sex
It’s hard not to stare at the magazines when going through the check out line.
The person in front of you just whipped out 20 coupons, so you got nothing else to do than glance at the latest gossip and impulse buys the store presents to you.
Amazingly, the magazines stick to some pretty common themes. And one theme that never seems to get played out is sex. Tips on how to do it better, how to do it differently, and how to get more of it.
Having a healthy sex life is good. But it doesn’t have to involve “25 Different Ways to do XYZ”.
So here’s a tip – backed by scientific evidence – that you probably won’s see on magazine racks. If you want to have more sex, then be a nicer person.
Different Types of Attraction
This may run counter to some of the other advice you’ve seen. Or maybe even experienced. We’ve all heard ladies go for the bad boys or the rebels.
There’s some psychological truth to that. But largely, the allure of dark personality traits are more attractive to women looking for short term commitments or flings.
However, there’s a good amount of other research that runs counter to the “bad boy” view. There is scientific evidence showing that nice, altruistic guys can beat out a more handsome fellow to win a woman’s heart.
But let’s get a little more gossipy for a second. Being attractive is nice, but how does that play out? Who’s actually getting more busy in the bedroom?
The Sex Evolution
Several researchers have recently published a study in the British Journal of Psychology that may help answer that question. They wanted to find out if altruistic characteristics contained an evolutionary advantage.
Their theory goes like this. If being nice is seen as attractive, then people with those traits willl have more sex. Thus, they’ll be more likely to pass along their altruistic genes.
So they recruited about 200 females and 100 males and went about asking them a number of questions.
This included how often they did good deeds, such as charity work, donating blood, or helping the elderly. They also inquired about their sexual history and how desirable they thought they were to the opposite sex.
They found people who were in long term relationships that scored high in altruism reported having more sex in the last 30 days than people who didn’t. They also reported having more interest from members of the opposite sex.
That wasn’t everything, though.
Men (but not women) who regularly did good deeds also reported having more casual partners. They also had more total partners overall than men who weren’t altruistic.
Nice Guys Come Out on Top
To make sure these results weren’t just some fluke, the team ran a second related study.
Researchers were concerned that some people may have a tendency to make themselves look better by reporting false altruistic tendencies. To make sure this wasn’t messing up results, they did two things.
While they asked over 330 undergrads about their sexual history, they also asked questions that tested for narcissism and other traits. As another twist, they also asked participants if they wanted to donate any of the money they earned from the study to charity.
This allowed scientists to not only get a more real world measure of their altruistic behavior, but it would help eliminate any false positives they might receive from people lying about their behavior for social gain.
Even when scientists factored in actual behavior and factored out narcissism, their results held true. Men and women who exhibited altruism not only had more sex in the last year, but also more casual sex partners in their past. For men, it also meant that they had more partners in their past overall.
Love Keeps the World Turning
The researchers present some interesting evidence of how society benefits from altruistic behavior in more ways than one.
Not only does it help out your fellow man or woman, but it can also indirectly affect your level of physical activity in the bedroom. Some could say it’s a virtuous cycle of giving, in which you also receive.
On top of that, it also discredits the old cliché, “Nice guys finish last”. They don’t finish last, my friends, but they do finish more often.