How Personality Predicts How Often You Have Sex
Intimacy in our relationships is important. Not just sharing a deep emotional connection, but also physical intimacy. Research has even linked the amount of time beneath the sheets with satisfaction levels with the overall relationship.
There are many things that play a factor into how often jump in bed with our significant other. But does personality have anything to do with how often you knock boots with your partner?
Two researchers – who had their work published in the Journal of Research in Personality – found that there are some personality traits that can play a factor in sex frequency.
To get at the heart of the matter, the researchers had to get some pretty personal details. They pulled data from three different independent studies that were focused on newlyweds. From over 270 couples, none had been married for more than 6 months.
The studies had the couples use daily diaries keep track of various parts of their marital relationship over the course of 14 days. Which, of course, included how often they had sex.
Researchers also gleaned data about each individual’s personality using the Big Five personality traits: openness to experience, conscientiousness, neuroticism, agreeableness, and extroversion. They would use these traits to look at which, if any, could tell them about any trends in the relationship.
Personality Traits That Predict Sex Frequency
The first thing the two researchers found was that couples had sex 3 to 4 times on average over the two week period. There were also traits that were predictive of sex frequency.
After compiling the data they noticed that two traits of the wife’s personality, agreeableness and openness to experience, correlated with more sex. Of these two traits, agreeableness was found to be the stronger predictor.
This would make sense, considering that individuals higher in agreeableness are more helpful, compassionate, and trusting. People high in openness are curious, adventurous, and willing to try new things.
As for men?
Researchers found that the husband’s personality had no correlation with sex frequency. The data from the study implies that it’s the woman’s personality that predicts the probability of sex. Not the man’s.
Can’t Get No Satisfaction
Another aspect that the researchers looked at was the individual satisfaction of their sexual experience.
The first interesting thing they noticed was that the personality of the partner played no role in one’s own satisfaction. Your experience depends on your personality alone.
Both men and women who were low in neuroticism found sex to be more satisfying. And in a rather surprising finding, men who were low in openness to experience found sex to be more satisfying. I guess fellas just aren’t the kinky types in the bedroom.
You may be wondering at this point, just how often “normal” couples have sex. One of the most comprehensive studies from the University of Chicago said that 32% of couples have sex two to three times a week, and 47% of couples had sex a few times a month.
Before you start comparing your sex life with someone else, remember that quantity doesn’t always mean quality.
Having more sex doesn’t necessarily translate into more happiness, and trying to keep up with another couple could very well backfire. Also, let’s not forget that the couples in the study were also newlyweds.
I would also argue that there is no “normal” couple. A relationship is highly dependent upon the two individuals involved.
Maybe don’t focus on the end result. Instead focus on the communication and creating a connection with your partner. Then see where it goes from there.