Sharing Chores Improves Your Sex Life
Who doesn’t love the honeymoon phase of a relationship.
It’s something you wish would never end, but there’s a reason why it’s named that. Because it’s temporary.
While many of us accept this as a fact of life, we would like to keep a certain level of romance in the relationship.
So what do you do?
If you’re a guy, you could buy flowers or maybe take her out to a nice restaurant. You could also leave her thoughtful notes in random places to remind her that you care. Or even surprise her at work.
These would all be things that could keep the romance going. However, research from Canada is saying that guys might try something else that could put the spark back in the bedroom.
Doing more of the household chores.
A research team from the University of Alberta found that when men do their fair share of work around the house, that couples had sex more frequently. They also discovered that the sex was more satisfying. The findings have been published in the Journal of Family Psychology.
While that result may seem obvious to some, it actually contradicts a finding from an earlier study in 2012. In that study, they found that couples where men do work around the house – such as laundry, cooking, and dishes – had less sex.
However, something about that study didn’t feel right for Dr. Matt Johnson. Matt is a family ecology professor from the University of Alberta.
And when Matt looked at data from a 5-year study of over 1,300 German couples, he found different results.
A Matter of Perception
Matt went a little bit deeper. He also took a look at how men’s perception of their contributions might affect the relationship.
Perception can be a bit tricky. Matt comments on this nuance:
“In any relationship, the amount of housework is going to mean something different based on the couple’s context, based on their own expectations for what each partner should be doing, and their comparison levels of what happens with other couples they know.”
From this perspective, Matt found something significant. Actual contribution towards housework couldn’t predict sex frequency. However, that changed if men believed that their contributions to be fair. In this case, couples engaged in more sex. Also, both partners in the relationship found the sex more satisfying.
With these types of studies, you have to mindful of cultural differences. Every society has different morals, traditions, and ways of thinking.
Germany, for example, has more well defined gender roles than the United States. As a result, some studies have found men in Germany, on average, do less housework than men in the United States.
While people in the US had stricter ideas about gender roles decades ago, today those lines are starting to blur.
Matt comments on these differences:
“There are cultural differences but if the logic held from the prior studies, we would have expected to have a more pronounced negative impact of housework on sexuality in Germany because it’s a bit more traditional. But that wasn’t the case at all.”
Pulling Your Weight
Matt isn’t the first researcher to take issue with the 2012 study by Sabino Kornrich. Other researchers have found that when men share child care responsibilities with their mate, they can increase their relationship satisfaction.
With these two studies, it seems that we are shifting to accept more gender neutral roles when it comes to the home. Which can be a good thing when it comes with the added benefit of more romance in the bedroom.
Matt leaves men with a final tip:
“Rather than avoiding chores in the hopes of having more sex, as prior research would imply, men are likely to experience more frequent and satisfying passion for both partners between the sheets when they simply do their fair share.”